So yeah, here we are five years after RotS... it's time.
When we think "Star Wars" a certain section of humanity gets all warm and fuzzy. Most are thinking of ANH, ESB, and RotJ (but we turn a blind eye to Ewoks). Many also then say, but not that prequel crap! Or, well this one was good, but the other two sucked and millions of voices cry out in terror at mention of "Jar Jar".
I enjoyed each prequel at the time of their release, but I did cringe at some dialogue and when Jar Jar just... was... STILL there!... and not doing... anything! I mean I get the whole thing; Qui-Gon is wise enough to know that all things, even the simplest or most annoying beings, have a roll to play. Sorta like Yoda, don't judge him by size and don't judge Jar Jar for.... his existence.
I still have no problem with midichlorians and all that...
....But, as a whole the saga is... I'm just going to say it... a bit off. And it's not just the prequels. ESB has some major flaws. Luke jumping of the bridge and then finding the... whatever that thing was.. to cling to. It's cool when you're still trying to figure out if Vader is Luke's father... I mean plot wise he had to escape somehow at that point, but perhaps a more satisfying scenario could have played out. Also the whole "there is another" thing was totally weak. It was done so Luke would seem to be truly in peril, but it was pretty dumb and then it amounted to nothing. After "I am your father..." "It's you Leia" is supposed to impress me.... how? How about "My uncle's a Wookiee!"
And speaking of Leia (and Padme for that matter), so I'm cool and in charge and independent and kick ass in my first movie... in the second one, okay I'm vulnerable on the inside, but I still kick ass too! And in the third movie I.... cuddle teddy bears and braid my hair. What?!? The original draft of RotJ is actually cooler in that Leia does something. She captains a rebel ship and kinda does the whole 'fly casual' thing.
Another thing with RotJ is that Lucas admits that he ran out of ideas and the return to Tatooine was essentially yanked from the great beyond as filler. Now I'm sorry but you get your basic ideas from Flash Gordon, John Carter of Mars (from which we hear such words as sith, jed, jeddak, banth, and palawan to name a few), and Asimov's Foundation series (Korell, Korellians, Rodia, and a city/planet) write a script, determine that there enough for three movies (then six, then nine! then no just three........20 years........okay six!), and the authors who inspired you were fairly prolific, and you run out of ideas? I'm now cynical enough to say "no you just decided you earned enough and were burnt out enough that you let the dream die".
Okay, so fine. We have the "Holy Trilogy" and tons of "EU" and games and what not. Then came Zahn. I don't really like those books... I do like some of Zahn's other Star Wars offerings, but anyway, turns out Star Wars fandom is big and hungry. So let's feed the beast and create a "canon" of material and now make it impossible to repeat the success enjoyed by the Zahn Trilogy by keeping our authors on a tight leash (and panning the same old spots for gold).
Now let's go ahead and show the backstory (which I now believe... and not just because of Star Wars... is a horrible idea. Some things should just be imagined and speculated on) which "I never wanted... I mean always meant to... uh, (Yoda fights!)... do. AND let's just ignore, not only the "canon" I made everyone develop (and get many fans invested in) let's also ignore facts from the other movies too. Seriously, this sounds like a Palpatinian plot of vengeance!
Now, we must face facts. Lucas is a visual genius, even today, and he's a marketing genius. He sold Star Wars before it was finished filming, in a guerrilla, viral campaign. But!.. but, but, but! He is not a narrative genius. Somehow he hit on the right thing at the right time and, here's the difference with ANH and ESB as opposed to everything else: Lucas was challenged. Spielberg challenged him and got the monster's (yeah I know, he was an aqualish named "Ponda Baba" thanks Mattel!) arm chopped off. Harrison Ford challenged him, and taught Fischer and Hammil to do the same. His British set lighting guy fought him for goodness sake! The studio fought him, the SAG fought him. And God bless him, he persevered. And something wonderful happened (for many of us). Then ESB challenged him and he did it barely, but I believe it broke him.
He mailed in RotJ in a barely satisfying way and then took a break. When he came back, he had total confidence, which is good.... but he had NO challenge. All the actors were like "yes George, like this George, okay George" because... now he was George Lucas. The studio said go for it, do what you want, you know what you're doing. Before the release of TPM, Neeson is saying "Oh, I love the hands off direction, blah, blah, blah". Then later "well he sucks and it sucks". McGreggor says "ah the next one'll have more action mate". Portman says "I am going to college!". Daniel's says... a lot of crazy-ass weirdness! It wasn't until after AotC that someone said.... er... let's maybe hire a script writer to... ah.... smooth out the dialogue a bit.
So what did we get. The beginning and end (but nothing else) of the Clone Wars... and so... cloners churn out an army in the name of the Republic and Yoda decides to fly those bad boys in to rescue two Jedi and a Senator... I guess maybe the Senate ordered them to. And for what the hell reason does Dooku become Tyrannus? Dooku is trained like every other little Padawan but then turns out to be an idiot and filled with hate... why? And then Yoda completely dismisses Dooku's bizarre confession to Obi-Wan. And in the end Anakin becomes Darth Vader because his mom died, and Padme's in danger, and he really likes Palpatine as a daddy figure and he believes that Sith can extend life based on zero evidence. And he loves her so much he has to kill Obi-Wan and brutalize her and kill all kinds of baby Jedi.
Yes the circle is now complete, and it's so satisfying to finally learn what happened. Not, I think, yes? Hmmm? Heheheehe!
Think back to Star Wars (ANH) remember the Star Destroyer thundering across the screen bigger and more real than anything you ever saw before. You were there. You believed that universe, you believed in miracles. You knew the good guys had to win, but knowing that didn't change anything, it felt awesome and was deeply satisfying. You were moved and you saw the world with child-like wonder, for a while anyway.
ESB and RotJ didn't replicate that despite most fans assertions that Empire was the best. Maybe it was, but it didn't satisfy, it tied things up no more than Matrix Reload(blergh!)... sorry I puked in my mouth a little. Okay it WAS more satisfying than that, but still. And really the numbering scheme was dumb. I understand and if he really never did the prequels it would have worked... though fans would bitch and moan til the end of time, but in limiting himself to three movies to tell this thing that goes all over the map and then barely comes in for a landing (and not really another happy one).
So I've decided that for me Star Wars begins and ends with, well, Star Wars. So much could have happened before and so much could happen after. By laying the rest out, Lucas just limited it... it's like the concept of magic. The more you understand it the less magical it is. But thanks George and everyone else on that initial band of scruffy rebels who sweat in garages, and put together miniatures, Ben Burtt for all the amazing sound effects, and John Williams for really tying it together, and everyone wearing goofy outfits with their boobs taped up, and the lighting guy for being a big dick.
You all did a great thing, but as we kept going back to the well, the water became less sweet... sadly even bitter. I guess you really can't go home again.
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